Palestinian Survival Secrets Guarantee Victory
Come with me and discover a different way to deal with pain that runs counter to the schtick sold us by social media shrinks and ‘coaches’. The cures, shared here, are based on time with friends who have become refugees, in Egypt. Those who, since October 7, witnessed and experienced the following:
Murder of friends and neighbours
Annihilation of their city
Death of a loved one
Multiple displacements
Genocide.
My husband and I arrived in Cairo with one aim — to surprise and bring joy to a family I had not seen, face to face, for over a decade. In March, they had fled the ongoing Holocaust. Passing through the Rafah Crossing, in just the clothes they stood up in — and whatever they could carry in their hands.
We had booked a short break to an Alexandria seaside villa, where the 9 of us would stay. I hoped it would positively impact their wellbeing.
It was my husband and I who would be most deeply affected by the visit.
The reunion
The family thought they were going to dinner at the home of a mutual Egyptian friend and had NO idea we would be there. When my husband opened the apartment door, Yasser (a tough man in many ways), collapsed into his arms, tears streaming down his face. I hid behind a curtain, then stepped out to the strains of ‘Dammi Falistin’ by Mohammed Assaf, blaring from my laptop.
There were hugs, tears and more hugs. The small talk petered out. We listened in stony silence, tea turning cold, to the first instalment of their horrific experience.
No preamble — no trigger warnings. Straight in.
‘The boys had pieces of human bodies on their shoes wallahi’
‘The bomb hit our house, we scattered, I couldn’t see, the smell is like fire…’
‘The soldiers took her with dozens of other girls….the men were stripped to their pants.’
‘Aunty, I saw them shot. The men… one by one…pushed into a pit. They were fathers, elderly.’
Sit with that a minute.
When you feel ready, read on.
Skating Around The Issue
The expectation, the social norm, if you like, is that the rest of that evening, indeed all of time together would be sad, reflective, gloomy, ‘traumatic’ unpicking of events and the political betrayal of the Palestinian people.
However, as I have reiterated in many lectures this past decade:
‘The Gazan people are different, they have a secret.’
Less than two hours after the harrowing revelations, we were at a theme park, laughing — as if life was normal.
Crazy, right?
We went ice skating. Yasser laughingly filming me as I clung to a sledge to stop from falling over. His sons and daughters sped around the ice, like naturals.
We dragged Amal, Yasser’s wife, onto the Big Wheel. She is so terrified of heights, she once almost fell off an escalator in an shopping mall, out of terror. We teased her all the way round. The children had ice cream, donuts, and ran around, like everyday kids, in the warm evening air.
Genocide On Pause?
Over the course of the coming days, it became clear that Yasser was not sleeping. He sat night after night on the sofa, hyper alert, until dawn, scrolling death and mutilation which he then reports back. The photos he gets from loved ones in Gaza, are unedited. They are so graphic, I have to beg him not to show me any more. These are NOT what you see on your social media channels. They are…..
Let’s be clear. These people feel pain. They are experiencing extreme loss. They will have this trauma with them, perhaps forever.
Yet. Yet. Something else is present too. An element so strange, so spiritually real, that, even a genocide cannot cripple their spirit.
How is that possible?
It is possible because they practise behaviours which mitigate psychological pain. More than that, their practises will, I am certain allow them to thrive in the present and be of great help to humanity in the future — insha’Allah (God willing).
Below are the factors which I saw mitigate, remove, even quash, experiential horror and the worst possible trials in life.
Contented people do NOT do this:
- Complain about their reality, or
- Ask assistance from others.
Let me share some neuroscience. It has recently been ‘discovered’ that moaning about situations, and even being around someone complaining, has negative short-term and long-term consequences for us. Complaining never fixes anything and it doesn’t solve any issue. What it does, is it makes matters worse by adding a poor attitude to already existing problems or issues.
In Islam this is know as ‘ingratitude’ to The Maker. And ingratitude is such a serious state, that it is akin to disbelief. No wonder you don’t feel better after a visit to the expensive shrink. This modern protocol of turning to the ego, groaning for an hour, paying top dollar to someone who couldn’t care less, really needs a rethink.
Shukr, aka gratitude, is, for Muslims, not something optional, an extra practice. It’s a core obligation that firmly sets the foundation and the essence of true, deep, worship.
The smiles my friends are able to share come from this ethic.
Āʾishah (may Allah be pleased with her), the beloved wife of the Prophet Muhammed, peace be upon him, said it clearly:
“There is no slave that drinks from clean and pure water, and it enters the body without injury, and it exits the body without injury, except that it becomes obligatory on this slave to engage in gratitude.”
Being truly, in the moment of trial and test, content with whatever Allah has decreed for us, means that ANYTHING that comes our way turns into a blessing.
The second and main action I saw the family actively pursue, which I recommend to you and to me, is the love, the passion for reading the Holy Quran.
Have you seen the videos coming out from Gaza of women and young people in right now, learning Quran together in displacement tents? Why is that?
Every moment we were with our friends, on the bus, in the house, in the taxi, going for a walk, there was a dynamic, non stop, never ending, recitation, memorisation, exploration, explanation, of the words of Allah Subhaana wa ta’ala.
One afternoon, 23 year old pharmacy graduate Razan and I were delivering to deliver prosthetic limbs to Gazan amputees.
I asked her how she was so calm, so at peace. What she said is not known by even most Muslims and it amazed me. Razan told me:
‘The mixture of pain with the mixture of praising Allah and accepting that situation - is the best taste any person in this life, can have.’
We need to stop complaining, read the Quran and ask Allah alone for what we need.
The Gazan people know this secret well. It is their sustenance and release from pain. It is their success in the here and in the hereafter.
That is the eternal win.
©2024 Lauren Booth
Thanks for reading.
If you found this piece illuminating, please consider buying my memoir, In Search of A Holy Land. The ebook and audiobook combined are just $9.99.
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